enlargers:

"can i ask you something?" my immediate reply says “go for it" but my mind has already gone through the seven stages of grief

kombuchaclock:

SHARK FACTS

blunk182:

DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance.

ejacutastic:

kill the imposter
"If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character…Would you slow down? Or speed up?"
-Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters (via observando)

flightcastiel:

why are there some lipsticks like $30 please calm down you glorified red crayon

queerchesters:

arterialspurt:

queerchesters:

fun date idea: Go down on me while I shop online with ur credit card

I don’t think someone could focus on the internet while I was going down on them.

you over estimate your skill and underestimate the joy of shopping